In this episode, Ty Benjamin will discuss the importance for moms to consider their decisions since each decision is creating the memories and stories their children will one day tell about them. What story do you want to tell? How do you want to be remembered? As a mother, a wife, a homemaker, and/or a homeschooler, what story do you want to be told about yourself?
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Hello hello and welcome to Season 2, Episode 22 of the Confidently Growing At Home Podcast.
I am so happy to be back with all of you after a little summer hiatus.
And what’s crazy to me is that during our break, we have grown tremendously in our following so to all of our new listeners I want to say welcome and to my Day Ones, as the kids say, thank you for sticking around.
I am so excited about this season because I have really been thinking about what exactly I want to bring to you on this podcast.
And I’ve made the decision that my primary goal for this platform is to provide encouragement and support to you in 3 main areas 1) Christian living 2) motherhood and 3) homeschooling with an emphasis on personal growth and development as moms.
I want to empower us all to really work from the inside out by addressing certain attitudes, mindsets, behaviors, and perspectives that may need to be challenged, changed, or championed.
As moms, I want us to embrace the idea or rather the motto that we’re growing at home one day at a time.
So with all that being said, let’s dive into our topic of discussion for this episode which is the question, What will they remember about you?
What will they remember about you?
You know as at-home moms, especially as homeschool moms, we have a very unique connection and influence with our family.
I’ve recently listened to an audiobook by Andy Stanley called Better Decisions Fewer Regrets, and in this book, the author posed this question…”What story do you want to tell?”
Or as he stated another way, “What story do you want to be told about you?”
And he suggested the idea that every decision we make becomes a permanent part of our story and we’re writing this story one decision at a time.
Our personal stories
This really got me thinking about the fact that our personal story – the one we’re writing or creating each and every day – is not only affecting us but also directly affecting our children’s personal stories.
Have you ever considered the fact that the stories our kids will tell about us in the future are being written right now?
What things do you think they will remember the most about their time with you at home?
What traditions, behaviors, words, and experiences will be the lasting memories that they’ll take with them for the rest of their lives?
Like, think about your own childhood and consider the memories you have about your parents – whether they be good or bad.
Our parents’ decisions, whatever they were, have had a direct impact on who we are today – whether we like that or not – whether that’s a good thing or not – it’s the truth.
Their decisions shaped their stories and what we ultimately remember about them.
If I was to ask you to share something about your mom growing up, what would be your initial response?
What are the memories that pop up, and what is the story you’d tell about her?
And so just like you have those memories and stories about her, our kids will have the same about us one day.
We don’t often think of our lives as stories being told, do we?
But as we make decisions today and in the days to come, we’re writing a sentence, a paragraph, a chapter in not only our lives but in our children’s lives as well.
your story's foundation
The fact that our decisions today are writing our chapters to be told in the future is a sobering and humbling concept for me.
It makes me realize that my private decisions will not always be private.
The choices that I make today are laying the foundation for memories of my children tomorrow.
Which brings me to ask again – What will your children remember about you? What story will be told about you?
Will it be that they remember you being engaged, interested, and present in your home?
Will they remember you enjoying a good book or listening to audiobooks?
Will they remember seeing you open your bible to sit down and study? Will they recall you praying silently or out loud for not just the family’s blessings but others as well?
Will they remember your cooking, your jokes, your smell, your dress, how you handle difficult situations, or how much of a servant of the Lord you strived to be?
Or… will they say they remember mom being on her phone or computer all the time? Scrolling through social media for hours or watching tv all the time?
Will they say, “My mom loved to talk about the latest gossip or celebrity news! She knew everything that was happening in Hollywood!”
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with phones, TVs, and computers – but I am posing the question: what will they remember seeing and hearing you do with most of your time?
Will it be that they saw you challenge yourself past your comfort zone, own up to your mistakes, and apologize for your wrongdoings?
Or will they remember you being resentful, rebellious, unforgiving, and bitter?
What will they say about your interactions with your husband, their father? How did they observe you treat him, talk to him, or talk about him?
What decisions of yours will they remember for a lifetime?
Will they say that you made efforts to actually understand them and really listen to them, or will they feel that you only listened enough to respond with what you had to say?
And I hope no one is triggered by what I’m saying, but I am intentionally mentioning these different scenarios to get us to think about how we’re showing up in our homes;
I’m issuing a challenge to us all to consider how our decisions, our actions, and our conversations are ultimately creating the story that will be told about us down the road – and are we really considering what story we want to tell?
Women of the bible and their stories
In the audiobook, the author used the story of Joseph found in Genesis chapters 37-50 and highlighted how each character’s decisions created the story we read about today.
From Joseph to his brothers, to Potiphar’s wife, to the cupbearer, and even Pharaoh – they all made decisions that ultimately played a role in God’s plan of redemption.
But I can think of other characters in the bible whose stories we read about today, who probably had no clue that the decisions they were making at that time would be preserved forever in the Bible.
Let’s just think about a few women whose stories I’m sure most of us are familiar with…
First and foremost, think about Eve in Genesis 3.
Her decision to go against what she KNEW the Lord had said, to go against God’s Word, and give in to the temptation of Satan not only changed her life as she knew it then but has affected every human being born since she took that bite.
Or how about Rahab, the harlot, in Joshua 2, who was able to redeem her life’s choices by making the decision to help the spies in Jericho thus saving herself and her family from death and changing their future forever.
Or Ruth in Ruth 1, who despite experiencing great loss and grief from the death of her husband, father-in-law, and brother-in-law, made the decision to stay with Naomi instead of going back home.
And let’s not forget about the woman with the issue of blood, who suffered for 12 long years with no help of getting any better, who made that crucial decision to touch just the hem of Jesus’ garment as he was walking by and had her blood issue dried up instantly and the Lord himself say to her that her faith had made her whole, and for her to go in peace (if interested, you can read her story in Mark 5:25 and also Luke 8:43).
Decision Now - story later
So what am I saying? What’s the point?
What am I trying to get across?
Well, I want to encourage us all to start consciously thinking about the story we are creating with our decisions each and every day.
Because you know what…
That decision to get up early and workout or not – is a part of your story.
That decision to set aside time to really plan out your homeschooling routine and schedule is apart of your story.
That decision to finally invest in yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually is a part of your story.
And the thing about our decisions is we have to become more aware of the types of decisions we’re making.
This means we have to strive to make good, wise, healthy, and helpful decisions rather than rash, impulsive, emotional, and irrational decisions that can create a story we really don’t want to be told and we really don’t want to be remembered.
And so, in times when decisions are being made, it may be a good idea, a good practice, to pause first and ask yourself, what’s the wise thing to do at this moment? What’s the Christ-like thing to do at this moment? What’s most beneficial?
What story am I telling with this decision – and am I okay with that?
Remember this, Decision Now – Story Later.
So I hope this was a help to somebody.
I’m not saying this will be easy because motherhood is anything but easy, but I will say that being more intentional about how we show up in life will definitely be more rewarding.
I want to thank you for listening to this episode of the Confidently Growing At Home Podcast. Again, my name is Ty Benjamin, homeschool mom of 2, Christ follower, and at-home mom encourager.
Please subscribe and leave a review so that we can continue to grow our reach to other moms out there.